"WHICH INDIVIDUALS have won all four major entertainment awards -- the Tony, the Oscar, the Emmy and the Grammy!"

This is an annual question that comes up now because the theater's Antoinette Perry Awards will be happening on Sunday in New York, airing on CBS.

Thanks to our friends at Parade magazine, we know the answer. Only nine people have been honored with trophies in competitive categories -- for theater (The Tony), for movies (the Oscar), for TV (the Emmy) and for music (the Grammy.)

They are directors Mel Brooks and Mike Nichols, actor Sir John Gielgud, actresses Helen Hayes, Audrey Hepburn and Rita Moreno and composers Marvin Hamlisch, Richard Rodgers and Jonathan Tunick.

We can add comedian Whoopi Goldberg (our very own Wow woman) if we include the daytime Emmy Awards. And we can add Barbra Streisand and Liza Minnelli if we are allowed to consider their non-competitive, special-achievement Tony and Grammy honors.

So there! Now you know. Stump your friends.

ON THE EVE of the Tonys, my writer compatriot -- Michael Riedel of the New York Post -- has offered up a severe critique of what CBS has done this year to the Tony Awards. He and the distinguished actor Kevin Spacey both deplore the musicalization of the show we'll see Sunday night. The "new" Tonys will evidently drop a lot of awards onstage. "Who wants to see an old costume designer accept an award and make a speech?" seems to be the new point of view. So many important awards will be given off-camera. Dancing and musicals will shine! Straight plays and technical wins will suffer.

This "may" make good TV but it doesn't do the hard work of all of Broadway any good. Spacey says the Tonys should be taken over by PBS, with the genius Mike Nichols directing, and should be given the formality and inclusiveness that the theater deserves.

THE EBULLIENT legend Phyllis Newman, who already has a Tony Award for acting, will be honored with a humanitarian award Sunday night. This is a first. Phyllis has raised millions of bucks for health care for women in the theater.

And now I see that three-time Tony nominee Kelli O'Hara will join with Andrea McArdle, Audra McDonald and Bebe Neuwirth in a benefit concert for Phyllis' "Women's Health Initiative" at New World Stages on June 15. Do a good deed in a naughty world -- call 212-221-7300, ext. 133. I'm betting this will be a lot more exciting than the Tony Awards.

TOO BAD that New York magazine can't spell the name of a woman who won the Presidential Medal of Freedom right! I'm talking about Joan Ganz Cooney.

Our Wow pal -- Joan -- the woman who helped Jim Henson create "Sesame Street" back in the day -- tells me I missed a great night last week when the Sesame Workshop did its seventh fund-raising gala with The Muppets as stars!

The event drew in more than $2 million for "Sesame" work with children worldwide and that was several $100,000s more than last year. Head Workshop beauty Sherrie Westin, talked President Obama into giving a surprise filmed salute. I guess nobody says no to a Muppet.

HAPPY TO report that my favorite play of the season, "God of Carnage," will keep its sterling cast of Jeff Daniels, Hope Davis, James Gandolfini and Marcia Gay Harden and extend their Yasmina Reza play through Nov. 15. Come to New York and see this rollicking comedy! ... ALSO HAPPY to report that Michael Feinstein and Broadway's sizzling hunk Cheyenne Jackson have extended their duet show, "Power of Two." Six more shows have been added. This talented pair is at Feinstein's at Lowe's Regency. Call 212-339-4095.

HERE ARE odds and ends I didn't see in the U.S. press: The Daily Telegraph reports Kim Jong-il of North Korea has nominated his third son to succeed him. He's "Swiss educated in English, German and French" and is predicted to be "a strong, ruthless leader."

The eldest and middle sons, who were passed over? The eldest ruled himself out after the embarrassment of being caught trying to visit Disneyland in Japan on a fake passport. The second son was termed "too girlish" to rule!

After Kate Moss sued IPC magazines for saying she might be pregnant, there were lots of "no comments" all around from the sue-er and sue-ee.

But reporter Jonathan Russell just wrote:

"Now we know she's not pregnant, I wonder if she fancies coming out for a quick drink?"

Since he co-starred with award-winning Emma Thompson in the little movie "Last Chance Harvey," America's own Dustin Hoffman says, "Emma and I are creatively married. It's an extraordinary feeling. ... Marriage should be this easy."

No comment from Mrs. Lisa Hoffman or from Emma's hubby, Greg Wise. I suppose they just shrug and murmur: "Show business!"

THE PHILANTROPIST and onetime 'Peter Pan" star of Great Britain -- Celia Lipton Farris -- is in her Palm Beach manse, recovering from a triple bypass.

I kid you not; I saw a photo of Celia, taken only a few days ago, showing her total recovery and how she can still sit up and sign those memoirs of hers.

This woman is her own work of art. Talk about a healthy comeback. Celia says, "Open heart surgery was a snap!"

(E-mail Liz Smith at MES3838@aol.com, or write to her c/o Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207.)